I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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