So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
