I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize