Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
