thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Watching her eat just hurts me
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
