Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
