just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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