As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
