i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
