That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
