Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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