East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
