Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
