i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
They have beer where we have blood.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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