I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
