just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize