Non-Jews are for practice
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize