i barfeds in our rink
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
