Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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