Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
