So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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