420 ftw
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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