I hate your face
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
