Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
