The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize