Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
