white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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