Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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