Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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