A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
