Can Purell be used as lube?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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