Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
