how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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