I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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