Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize