it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
