He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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