Pregnant stripper...not hot.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
