Screwed.edu
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize