I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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