No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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