sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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