I am puke
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
