what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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