maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
