No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
