There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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