It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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