she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
