She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
