my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize