That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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