Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
