Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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