party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
