I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
