HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
