So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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