i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
dude. I can hear the air.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
