Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
