Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
