if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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